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皮箱中的五件行李
跟大部分我熟識的華人家庭不同，我們家移民到美國北卡羅那州的一個小鎮，在那裡，我們是唯一的華人家庭。所以，小時候有很長一段時間，我不知道、也不了解印度華人集中營的歷史和印度華人社群。我記得我爸爸會東說一點、西說一點集中營的事，但我從來都不是很瞭解，也沒很認真聽他在說什麼。只是，我一直都很困惑，為什麼我們家同時是中國人和印度人。
後來，當我十一還十二歲的時候，學校派給我們一個作業。那個作業引導我們想像即將踏上一趟旅程，但我們不知道目的地是哪裡。我們只能在一只行李箱中裝進五樣東西。我們必須決定要帶哪五樣東西，為什麼選擇這些東西？一開始，我想帶書、衣服、化妝品、遊戲，和一些有點奢侈的東西。當我給爸爸看我的清單時，爸爸笑我的選擇，說我的選擇太笨了。
我們吵了一會，後來我爸終於說：「相信我，我這樣說是有道理的，這發生在我身上過。」當下我很困惑，才問了他為什麼這麼說，他才把關於集中營的過去，和面對集中營的不確定感、飢餓、恐懼，還有那被白白浪費的三年顛沛歲月詳細跟我說。這次，我終於仔細聽。
了解集中營的事情後，我終於了解，那些關於我的表兄弟姊妹、姑姑、阿姨和舅舅、叔叔們所說的話。我想要了解更多有關集中營和印度華人社群的故事，但那時候根本沒有相關書籍資料可以查閱。我曾經立下決心，有一天一定要寫一本關於印度華人集中營的書。我想讓大家知道，1962年，在印度華人集中營到底發生什麼事。
2012年，在我的大學老師的幫助與鼓勵下，我終於決定開始寫作，所以我去了加拿大多倫多採訪經歷集中營的受難者。在聽了這麼多故事以後，我不只想寫，還想投入更多事。所以我加入了位於多倫多的「印華集中營難友協會」。剛開始，協會裡沒有很多年輕人，甚至很難讓集中營受難者後代積極參與其中。對他們來說，集中營的這段歷史離他們太遠，談論到集中營時也不是很自在。但隨著時間過去，我接到很多來自閱讀協會部落格年輕人的來信，他們有些是印度華人，有些是海外客家人，有些是社會運動者、影像工作者，還有曾經有過集中營經驗的人。
雖然過去五十年來，集中營歷史一直籠罩印度華人社群，但我卻深深在其中感到它賦予給我的力量，因為我們了解、記得，並且一起走過。
Unlike most of the Chinese-Indians I know, my family migrated to a small town in North Carolina where we were one of the only Asian families. So, I spent a lot of my childhood not knowing or understanding the camp and the Chinese-Indian community. I remember growing up with my father mentioning the internment camp here and there, but I never fully understood or listened to what he was saying back then. I had also been confused about how my family could be Chinese and Indian at the same time.
Later on, when I was about twelve or thirteen years old, I remember having a school homework assignment. The assignment instructed us to imagine that we had to go on a journey—we didn’t know where we would go. We were only allowed to take one suitcase and put five items in it, and we had to decide what five items we would take, and why. At first, I had wanted to bring books, clothes, toiletries, games and other luxuries. When I showed my father the list that I had made, he laughed and told me how foolish I was for the choices that I had made.
We argued a bit over the assignment, when my father finally said, “Trust me, I know what I’m talking about. This happened to me before.” Confused, I asked him what he meant, and he told me all about the camp, the uncertainty, the hunger, the fear, the three years wasted and a lifetime of displacement. This time, I listened closely.
Knowing about the camp explained so many mysteries and quirks about my cousins, aunts and uncles. I wanted to learn more about the camp and about the Chinese-Indian community, but there was no literature on it at that time. When I was young, I made it my goal to someday write a book about the camp. I wanted others to know about what happened in 1962.
In 2012, with the help and encouragement of my professor, I finally decided to start writing and I went to Toronto to interview ex-internees. After hearing so many stories though, I wanted to do more than just write. So, I joined AIDCI. When I first joined, there were almost no young people who were involved. It’s been even more difficult getting other ex-internee children involved. Many of them feel detached or uncomfortable talking about it. But slowly over time, I’ve gotten more emails from young people who have read our blog or website. Some are other Chinese-Indians, some are overseas Hakka people, some are activists, some are filmmakers and some are people who have identified with the internment experience.
While Deoli Internment Camp haunted the Chinese-Indian community for the past fifty years, I feel empowered by knowing that we have survived it together.
Yeeva Cheng
1992 年生於美國北卡羅那州
父母曾於1962-1965年被監禁於印度戴奧里集中營
「沈默之牆」文件展合作策劃—印華集中營難友協會
Association of India Deoli Camp Internees 1962 (AIDCI)